fear. discipline and commitment. anxious.
but more on that later.
i’m still trying to find a sweet spot with how big my intentions ought to be because this one was really like 30 in 1. my latest intention was about making a bigger commitment to my yoga practice. i intentionally left this vague since i wasn’t exactly sure what it would look like. home practices? workshops?
i’ve flirted with yoga for many years but never did it regularly until about 5 years ago. bikram was becoming all the rage. i was honestly fed up hearing about it and wanted to try it out. oh, did i mention i hate the heat? like anything-over-75 degrees-is-too-hot hate. knowing this, my friend rightfully told me to try hot yoga first. because you see, hot yoga is done in a balmy 95ish degree room rather than a 100+ degree room like bikram.
learning something new can be intimidating. having to do it in a room full of really in-shape people can be down right terrifying. the environment at down dog yoga was so welcoming though that nothing else mattered. it didn’t matter if i wasn’t in the best shape. it didn’t matter if i nailed the poses or not. i also resonated with the style of yoga, a baptiste vinyasa flow. a more rigorous yoga that gets your heart pumping.
each year, the studio does a 30 day throw down. just like it sounds, that’s 30 straight days of practicing yoga. i was thinking this was my opportunity to commit more to my practice. i hadn’t done it before because of injuries or pure laziness. and march wasn’t going to be easy with so much going on. but my friend, annette, gave me the push i needed. we practiced together the morning of the kick-off and that after class, we both decided to sign up.
i was anxious that i wouldn’t be able to practice while out of town for work. i was anxious the tendonitis in my shoulder would flare up. i was anxious that i’d be too busy with family events for the persian new year. but after years of watching others do the throw down, i decided there will never be a perfect time. and that’s the practice. it’s not about being perfect. it’s about showing up. that’s what doing a year of intentions has taught me too. it’s the fine line between holding myself accountable, and giving myself room to be imperfect.
if you couldn’t already tell, anxious is what i felt before starting the challenge. i enlisted a few of my fellow yogis to give me their thoughts too. annette’s word: fear. danielle’s word: discipline and commitment. we each went into it with our own expectations.
and that’s pretty much what they were: presumptions. not only was i able to practice while traveling for work, i found the cutest studio in san antonio. my shoulder felt good the majority of the time. when i felt soreness, i modified. finally, i definitely had to strategically schedule my practice around family events. but i did it. i woke up at 5:30 am when all i wanted to do is hit the snooze button. i went to class when i didn’t feel my best.
being on my mat for 30 days taught me what i was physically and mentally capable of. some poses got easier: i can pike up to headstand now. others got harder: i’m looking at you chair. practicing daily showed me that you’re as busy as you want to be. sure, you’ll be tired but you can make space for the things that matter.
and just like the quote ddy posted recently, the finish line is really just the beginning of a whole new race. maybe i will start practicing on my own at home. maybe i will take up more workshops.
amazed. community. accomplished.
these are our words 30 days later.