as a child, i would draw all the time and everywhere. when i say everywhere, i mean on the walls, on bed sheets, and on the occasional piece of paper or two. even through college, people often mistook me for an art major. not because i was that good, just because i was constantly creating something.
there are several reasons why i haven’t done more art of late. long story short, i unintentionally allowed a short break turn into a long hiatus. but i never put pressure on myself to end my dry spell because i knew i would return on my own terms. the more i used pinterest and instagram, the more lovely things i would see. and the more lovely things i see, the more i want to create. so it finally boiled over a few weeks ago when i started buying some new art supplies.
this weeks intention of creating a new piece of art didn’t come easy. it started with us springing forward, which put me a little off kilter. i woke up pretty early, but had no interest in getting out of bed. i wasn’t hungover, although the lost hour, little sleep, and all those tequila shots the night before contributed to a much slower pace. so i thought today would be a good day to paint. i normally paint with acrylics yet something was drawing (no pun intended) me towards watercolor.
the shenanigans started like this: i would have bet my life that i had paper at the house. and had anyone actually taken me up on said bet, you’d be attending my funeral rather than reading this post. went to michaels after yoga and spent the usual hour perusing the aisles. once i got to the register, i remembered my wallet was on the dining room table. at that point, i had to get home, shower, make lunch, and head back out for a previous engagement. so i figured i would stop by on my way out. annnnnnd didn’t end up having enough time for that. not to worry though. i would just stop by target on my way home knowing michaels would already be closed.
it was late by the time i finally got back home. i was hungry from not having had dinner and annoyed that my neighbors can’t park in straight lines which resulted in a long walk from the parking lot. made it into the doorway and realized i left the art supplies in my car. for a split second, i thought this was fate trying to tell me something and that i should just eat and go to bed. then i quickly acknowledged that i was giving up too easily. i have a whole year of intentions ahead of me to let myself start sliding now. that and fate probably had better things to do than sabotage my intentions. so back to the car it was.
once i set myself up and fending of the cat, i immediately knew what i wanted to do. then i proceeded to change my mind. again and again. a few hours later, i considered myself done. not perfect, just done. several words and sayings floated in my mind but i landed on drishti. it was really only a matter of time before my current hobby (yoga) married with my old one. on the surface, drishti is your gaze. it, along with your breath, is meant to keep you focused. beyond where you lock your eyes, drishti is your intention. and there it was. it all suddenly came into focus for me.
this whole day was about focus and intent and i honestly didn’t make that connection until i started writing (let’s blame the tequila). i could have taken the easy way out but i held myself accountable. it may just be a silly personal project. but if we don’t hold ourselves accountable, how can we possibly ask anyone else to? unknowingly, it turns out this whole year of intentions is about drishti for me. on and off the mat. 9 down, 43 to go.